Always Yours
by jordan.lily.fire
Summary: Merlin had loved Arthur since the first week of working with but had never confessed his feelings. If he dies he wants Arthur to know how he really feels so he writes a letter... Rated T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Go easy on me I ask you ;)**

_To My Dearest Arthur,_

_When I call you "My Dearest" it is the only thing that feels right in my life. I wish wholeheartedly that I could tell you the truth, but for all my fervent wishing I cannot bring myself to do the one thing that would allow me to freely continue with my life with no fear of death or your hate, which would be worse in my mind._

_Alas even that course of action would not ever allow me to speak my feelings to you. You would surely hate me if I did. _

_But this letter is one of confessions, so that I need no more lie to you. The truth is My Dearest Arthur, I have magic. I am a warlock and I love you with all my heart. With every breath in my body I love you. I would give anything for you . Even throw away my magic or sell my soul. _

_I only hope that you will one day understand and perhaps even return my feelings. Until that day I will faithfully serve you with mind, soul, heart, and magic._

_Always yours Merlin_

Merlin sighed as he read his letter again. He was lying on his less-than-comfortable-but-more- comfortable-than-he-was-used-to bed. It had been a long day.

He had got Arthur his breakfast, cleaned Athur's room, polished Athur's armor, mended Athur's clothes, and dressed Arthur for weapons training. That was his only break as afterwards he had to draw Athur's bath, prepare Arthur clothes and attend court with him, then serve Athur's dinner, make sure Athur was ready to sleep and do Athur's laundry.

When he got home he was bone tired and starving, so he had taken his meal with Gaius, ignored any comments about overworking himself, and gone to his room where he went over his letter again for a reason he did not understand.

Merlin had loved Arthur since a week after starting to serve, despite how contrary Athur had been,and how pointless loving Arthur was . After he realised he was in love with Arthur, serving him had been easy no matter how cruel he was sometimes.

He knew he would do anything for Arthur even give his life, and with all the trouble Arthur attracted he might just have to. He had had many near death encounters and he knew that if he died he would want Arthur to know who he truly was and how much he loved him. So he decided to write a letter.

He had written this letter a month ago and layered it with two enchantments to prove that he did have magic since Arthur didn't believe he had it in him. The first was to preserve the letter from anything that could destroy it and the second was an animation spell. He had enchanted a rose as red as blood to bloom and wilt on the parchment. He had also written a simple _To Arthur _on the front.

Ever since Merlin had finished he would read it and sigh longingly after coming to his room every day . He would imagine giving the letter to Arthur, and Arthur embracing him and accepting his magic and love. Then he would sigh put his letter aside and fall asleep knowing that that would never happen only to wake up the next morning and repeat the process. What Merlin didn't know was that tomorrow would change everything and that his life would never be the same.

**Comment and review so that I can make my writing better for you **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am so sorry for the late update but I had a medical emergency and my laptop was at home. I know my writing isn't that great,so I thank you for reading this story. As a side note there is no specific timeline at the moment as this will be one of the last chapters unless I decide to continue. I don't think it would be any further than season 3 though.**

Merlin woke up with the sun and a raging headache. He sighed as he snuggled into his pillows and thought about all the work he had to do that day. Eventually he decided it would be easier if he just got it over with. He sucked in a breath and got out of bed. It was cold but managed to change without fuss. The same could not be said for the rest of the morning.

"Merlin you woke up late. Again" was his morning greeting from Gaius. He knew he was late and that it meant he'd be late for work too but he replied with his usual sarcasm. "Good morning to you too, Gaius. Sleep well?", it was foolish to bait Gaius in the morning but he was grumpy and he didn't feel like going this morning.

"Don't take that tone with me Merlin. I'm not in the mood this morning. Just eat your breakfast and go to deliver these remedies I made. You're going to be late again and you know Arthur is particularly vindictive when you're late" . Gaius was right, so he sighed grabbed an apple and left .

"Bye Gaius".

**Gaius P.O.V**

Merlin turned from him picked up an apple then turned to the door and smiled his perfectly angelic smile that would warm even Uther's cold heart and said, "Bye Gaius". Then the door he wondered if the boy ever had his head screwed on straight. It certainly didn't seem like it this morning. If he went into the boy's room it would be a wreck.

Sure enough when he got there it was trashed. He sighed and got to cleaning it knowing it was one of the few luxuries the boy was afforded. Partway through he found what he presumed to be a letter under Merlin's bed. It simply had the word _Arthur _written on it in red ink.

Although Merlin thought he hid it well Gaius knew he had feelings for the poor blond prince. It was clear the blond felt something for Merlin too but he couldn't identify the emotion because whenever the look was there it faded so quickly it was almost as if it wasn't there, and then there was how he was always trying to keep Merlin's attention on himself, and the small flashes of pain lanced through his eyes whenever Merlin teased him.

Gaius shook himself from his thoughts and looked back at the parchment in his hands. He could tell that Merlin took a lot of care in writing this letter so he decided that he would get the letter to Arthur. And if he recognised that particular parchment as the one the court used for love letters no one would ever know.

**Comment and review so that I can make my writing better for you**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello everybody who is reading. I just wanted to thank you for reading a d to thank those of you who are following this story and apologize for short chapters. Enjoy;)**

Arthur was in his room going through his and grumbling almost silently. Merlin hadn't arrived yet which meant he was late. Again.

He probably wouldn't have minded any of his other servants being late but for Merlin to be late every day that meant he didn't care for this job. Or Arthur.

He sighed and tried to concentrate on his work again to avoid that thought pattern. It was pointless anyway. Merlin saw him as a friend only, and Uther had banned homosexuality when he banned sorcery. The punishment was death.

He had been doubting his father lately as well. His father said homosexuality was evil and Athur was certainly not evil, and that was not an arrogant thought but the truth. So if his father was wrong about that, then might he be wrong about sorcery too?

He let out a frustrated huff and scrubbed his eyes with the ball of his hand. These thoughts were getting him nowhere but for the life of him he couldn't seem to concentrate on the reports in front of him.

Just then there was a knock on the door. He quickly shouted "Come in!". The door opened to reveal his friend Gwen with her ever present smile and what looked like a letter. "Sorry to disturb you ,Sire, but Gaius gave me this letter for you" she said as she handed him the parchment. " No need to apologize Guinevere, your face is always a welcome one. Usually any letters for the royal family go to the court first though. Why would Gaius have this?" he said as he looked over the parchment in his hand.

"I have no idea, my Lord. Gaius just told it was important and to get it to you right away" was Gwen's equally perplexed answer. He looked at the letter one more time then cringed recognizing the parchment.

"It's a love letter," he said in slight disgust. "You'd best leave Gwen. I doubt my response will be pleasant," he said with a half hearted smile, then looked back at the parchment with no small amount of trepidation. He knew Gwen had left when he heard a slight click from the door.

He'd had his fair share of love letters as the Prince of Camelot but he'd never been able to respond without breaking the writer's heart. So he hated them really. He also hated this letter in particular because he could see the obvious care that had been put into it. The parchment was pristine white, and folded perfectly and had _To Arthur_ in beautiful red calligraphy printed on the front. He knew it would be wonderful and sincere and he would have to break the heart of the writer because his heart already belonged to another.

He opened the letter carefully. He found that the only predictable part of the script was the first four words.

When he was done his mind was spinning with question after question so much he could barely tell the difference between left and right. He sat there thinking for almost 30 minutes and once he was done thinking he was left with a few certainties.

Merlin loved him and thought he didn't love him back.

Merlin had magic.

His father was totally wrong. Because if Merlin had magic there was no way it could be evil.

He dropped the letter on the table and stood coming to a decision. He would first get Merlin to be his and then he would do a coop. And for that he would need the help of Morgana.

As he was about to leave the door banged open to reveal the sweaty, panting object of his affections. Merlin was here. And they were about to have a serious talk.

**The next chapter is almost done andI should update in a few day. Comment and review ;)**


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